Yield Signs

When your get up and go has gotten up and left…. The yield signs of life.

Yield signs - signs that force us to slow down, to take our time, to move with caution. I

absolutely adore this imagery! As a therapist and a fellow human, I use this concept in my

work and my own life. These are the phases of life that force us to slow down, the times

where exhaustion/grief/uncertainty has set in. When all we have left is to set it down and

rest for a while. This can feel terrifying at times! In a world where pushing through, constant

doing, and achievement are markers of a life well lived, the times of life where we REQUIRE

rest, slowing down, and even stopping for a while, goes against many of our inner, cultural,

and familial narratives.

This experience, albeit a universal human one, in our larger Canadian culture is often looked

up on with great confusion, great disdain, and quite a lot of misunderstanding. In a culture

where narratives of ‘do more’, ‘be more’, and ‘pushing through’ are markers of success and

strength not only of perceived life circumstance, but also of moral character, this is an

experience that can be quite jarring for many. Cultural and familial narratives of productivity

and busyness being associated with worth and value become engrained inner critics that

perpetuate difficult and conflicting emotions regarding these times of life. In my own

experience as a therapist and more importantly, someone who has experienced their own

version of their ‘get up and go, getting up and going’, this is what I have learned…

A yield sign is just that, a time to slow down, look around, stop if it’s needed, and proceed

when one is able. Nothing more, nothing less; this is a human experience, one that if you

allow it to be what it needs, can be realigning, reconnecting, and reenergizing. To move

through the ‘hard’, we must be with it… not unpack and live there forever, but we do need to

acknowledge it. This is where the healing, the growth, the realignment comes in. When we

are constantly busy striving, doing, searching, avoiding, resisting, achieving, chasing …etc!

we miss these opportunities and signs that our body and our mind may be giving us. It is

not a negative moral inherency, it simply means we are a human going through something.

If we allow it, this can lead to great insight, clarity, and at the very least, a recharge. Slowing

down, going inward, and getting curious about what is going on for us, what our inner

narratives are, and how we are feeling emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually can

help us be in the now and allow the yield sign the space to do its job.

Environments, life circumstances, phases of life, biological changes/hormonal changes,

physical health, etc. all influence and contribute to the experience of a life yield sign. Grief

and loss of all kinds, life transitions/changes, mid-life or ‘any time life’ reassessment,

burnout/stress, feeling stuck…the list goes on; these experiences can lead to a slowing

down, a turning inward, a reflective state, a process of turtling-in that is necessary for

healing, processing, and growth. How do we know we are here? For some, experiences of

exhaustion, numbness, brain fog, questioning our purpose, questioning where we are at and

what we want from life, questioning our relationships/careers, feeling uncertain;

alternatively, it may look like pushing through, avoiding, numbing. Each yield sign process may look different, each experience and why may be different, and that is ok! Engage

without judgement, slow down, reflect on what is happening for you, and allow yourself

what you need with compassion and honesty. Phones need to be recharged, vehicles need

gas/oil, we pull over and reroute if we have lost our way or are uncertain of where we are,

where we are going, or where we want to be; we all require rest/recharging/refueling/realignment.

The metaphor of a yield sign is to slow down, look around, take a look inward, stop if we

need, and go when we are able to do so. They are not stop signs, they are just ‘slow down

and proceed with caution’ signs… ‘ rest if you need to’ signs. Have you experienced a yield

sign in your lifetime? What did that look like for you? What was happening in your life, or not

happening? How did you know that was what you were experiencing? How did it impact

you? How did you feel physically? Emotionally? Mentally? Spiritually? What was helpful?

What was not? What inner narratives came up for you during this time? Where did you first

learn those narratives? Were they true? Or were they cultural/familial narratives or protector

parts of us trying to keep us safe and engaged with the world? Maybe it’s not either/or,

maybe it’s the beauty of dialectics and the power of ‘and’…