Therapists Go To Therapy Too

Exploring The Healing Journey and The Mental Health Stigma

It may come as a surprise for some that therapists often see their own therapists as well. Therapists provide therapeutic tools for clients, holding a compassionate space for others to land, and help others understand their core beliefs and narratives. So you may be wondering, why can’t a therapist reflect their knowledge and tools unto themselves?

Because we also need someone to hold a mirror sometimes. Because we also need someone to hold a safe contained space.Because we also need community.

I once watched a video from instagram, the creator of Amenti World, explaining the benefits of community because it takes another person to see what's behind you. They describe that the shadow reflects behind you, so even if you turn yourself around to look, your shadow moves as you turn. Thus, they voiced that having community support can help the person by pointing out what their shadow is, and this helps guide the person to what they need to heal. To watch the video yourself, here is the link: https://www.instagram.com/reel/DXUUd_ykyh6/?igsh=bnV1eHI1ZW4wdjRo

In other words it takes a supportive person, a supportive community, to name the things that are out of our awareness. And I think it's humbling to say that there is always something to learn about ourselves. In naming all this, how does it make you feel knowing that your therapist may also be in therapy services? Some may say that this is a green flag, because it means that the therapist understands the process themselves which makes a better therapist. Others may say that this is a red flag, because how can a therapist help heal others when they are not healed themselves? Others may say that they disagree with therapy altogether because of the pathologizing worldview of the mental health stigma that unfortunately still exists. 

So let’s explore some of this. 

Therapists are professionals with many tools and psychoeducation to share with clients to help them with their healing journey. Therapists are also human too. And while self help and reflection exercises help maintain our health, being able to talk about something hard in a safe and compassionate space can feel like a relief. Like weight shifting and offloading. Therapy spaces are not just about talking, but holding space for another human being. It's about holding a mirror to guide towards thought processes and emotions that have not been seen before. If you haven't already read the blog, “What Is Therapy” by Allison Sebation from Within The Seasons, then my invitation is to read her piece to gain a better understanding of what therapy is. 

So then how does taking part in the therapy process make better therapists? First, I think it allows the therapist to understand the process from the other side of the chair. The beautiful thing with therapists who go to their own therapy is that they know what it's like to work through the hard, to do the inner work, and understand that it takes time. Guiding others through their own trauma and inner work can feel like an honor, seeing the growth of the process with our own eyes. And the therapist also knows that doing the inner work takes a lot of bravery. So it makes a therapist relational, and creates an empathetic space that says, “I see you.” 

As far as when the healing journey ends, and the assumption that therapists should be healed before going into the profession. Let’s think of it this way: If we bandage an open and painful wound, sometimes that bandage is kept on over a long period time so that we don't have to think of the wound underneath. Once we are ready to take the bandage off, there is a process of pain, sometimes extreme pain. This is where we incorporate stabilization and resourcing to help with the process of how the wound existed in the first place. Over time, the wound will become scabbed over, and eventually it will turn into a scar. There is no more pain, and there are a lot of tools accumulated to help care for ourselves. The scar tissue will fade overtime, and it will also remain there too. Sometimes it may cause skin sensitivity and discomfort. It may even open up again sometimes. It does not mean that the tools and resourcing are not working, and it also does not mean that the healing journey goes backwards. Life is difficult, stressful, and always in an ebb and flow of unpredictability. This has been the case especially within the last 10-20 years. And so - the healing journey is defined by the person themself. Is there truly an end to healing? Or is healing a process of learning and growth? What do you think?

Finally, the mental health stigma. Sometimes I wish I can throw the stigma right in the trash. But there is a dense history of why the mental health stigma exists, such as colonization, labelling, and pathologizing processes to name a few. So it's important to know our history to understand the why and the how.

In my living experience, there is a fear that exists when contemplating therapy services because of the mentality of, “what's wrong with me?” and “I don't want others to know that I'm struggling.” For those living in small town communities, this can be a terrifying experience. So I think that therapists who go to their own therapists can help empower others. For me, this says that it’s okay to seek help, and there does not need to be a label because that is what the systems normalized. Truly, it's hard to feel okay with the system built as it is. 

And so - therapists go to therapy too.